Last night, I kinda lost my cool. I have been more emotional lately, and I'm guessing it's because the chemo screws up your hormones temporarily. Usually it's for a good reason, like I am frustrated about my hair or I'm tired of my muscles being sore. Last night, it was not for a good reason. I can laugh at it now, and I am hoping you will too.
So as some of you know, I am off dairy (for the most part). There's a non-dairy/non-soy cheese called Daiya. It kinda tastes like cheese, but nothing beats the real thing. I decided to make a healthy quesadilla last night with spelt tortillas, Daiya cheese, spinach and the last of our salsa. I was so excited about it. I was starving. After it was done, I put it on a plate and threw it on my bed to cool down while I put clothes away. The clothes are in the closet and I turn around to grab my dinner and Lola (my cat) is standing on the quesadilla, licking it. I lost it. I turned into a full-on psycho. I yelled at Lola, picked up the quesadilla and threw it in the trash and started screaming and crying. I think I scared John. I was so enraged that she ruined my dinner. John felt awful and offered to go get me food, but I had lost my appetite and didn't want anything so I just ate rice with peas.
Needless to say, I woke up today and felt like a giant asshole. I know I can't help it right now and this is all "normal," but come on. I had a stupid moment of weakness, which I am allowed right now, but I felt ridiculous. Lesson of the day: Lola likes quesadillas.
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