Hair Progress

When I'm feeling down about my hair and missing being able to put it in buns and fun up-dos, I look back at pictures from July and realize how much it has actually grown in 5 months. It seems like it's taking forever to grow, but really, it's growing pretty fast.

July 2013

December 2013

Holiday Party Crashers

We had our work holiday lunch yesterday, which was a lot of fun. I had a lil bit of wine and I was feeling good. When I got home, I told John I wanted to keep the party going so we decided to check out a wine tasting room walking distance from our apartment, called V Wine Room. It was great. There was a holiday party going on there which was super fun. The people were awesome and having a great time. John and I each did a wine flight and ate some delicious snacks and then had a full glass or 2 of wine. Needless to say, I don't recall the walk home. I woke up today to the picture below in my email. The holiday party that was at the wine bar was giving their employees fun masks to wear and apparently I decided to put one on. I believe we also ate some of their food. We are classy.

It's Been One Year

A year ago today, I had my lumpectomy. It was a very scary and long day. I had to get to the surgery center at the crack of dawn and I was there til the late afternoon. John stayed by my side until they wheeled me in. My brother put me in touch with a friend of his, who not only referred me to my amazing surgeon, Dr. Memsic, but who would also become my anesthesiologist and friend. Alex Conrad calmed me down and made me feel less scared.  She also gave me some amazing drugs.
I can't believe it's been a year. I can barely see the surgery scars...

Remembering Gina

Not even a year ago, I bought a wig to cover my soon-to-be bald head. It looked pretty real, but it needed to be styled. I asked my hair gal if she knew of anyone who styled wigs and she sent me to Gina Nazzaro. Gina cut it and curled it for me and it looked so real, I had people tell me I was lucky my hair didn't fall out.  Gina was so kind and sweet and made me look beautiful with her wig styling expertise. Yesterday I found out that Gina passed away over Thanksgiving.  I am in shock and sad and can't wrap my head around it. She couldn't have been much older than me. I won't give details, out of respect for the family, but they are doing an autopsy to find out the cause of death. The world lost a kind soul this Thanksgiving. Thank you, Gina, for helping me through a rough time in my life. You will be missed.

I'm Bringing Sexy Back

My gift to myself when I finished chemo was Justin Timberlake tix in Vegas. They were way more money than I have ever spent on tickets but I didn't care. Not only would I be able to see my other boyfriend perform, but I'd get to go to Vegas. Yesterday was the show and it was incredible. He had a DJ open for him, which I preferred much more than some lame opening act. He played for 3 hours, which my pal Stacie told me about, so I was prepared.  I thought I wouldn't be able to handle 3 hours, but I could have watched 3 more. It was that good. He played hit after hit all while dancing and didn't miss a beat. Then, part of the stage detached and moved towards the back of the theater so people in the back had amazing seats for some of the show. Our already really good seats became front-row, great seats.It was one of the best concerts I have ever been to.

Blurry shot of how close JT was to us once the stage moved to the back

Another blurry shot of my other boyfriend

Giving Thanks

I kinda always looked at Thanksgiving as a holiday to stuff your face and hang with good friends and family. This year, it means more to me. I am so thankful for so much in my life right now:
My health
My family
My boyfriend
My friends
My pets
My pixie do (I  am just thankful to have hair period)
My strength (mental and physical)
My sense of humor
My positive attitude (most of the time)
And all of the amazing NEW people I have met this past year

My Love's On Jeopardy, Baby

My boyfriend's dream came true last night. He won on Jeopardy!! He is a trivia "nerd" and is constantly doing crossword puzzles, going to trivia nights and playing Scrabble. He also watches Jeopardy religiously. He took a test online and they wanted him to be on the show. He did so great and I was so proud of him. Since he won, he will be on tonight's episode as well (as long as they air it since it's a holiday). Tune in to see how he does!! HAPPY THANKSGIVING

A Year In The Life

A year ago today, I was diagnosed with breast cancer
A year later, I am cancer free
A year ago today, I cried hysterically
A year later, I laugh hysterically
A year ago today, I didn't know where I would be in a year
A year later, I am happier, stronger, healthier and more grateful than ever. I have a cute pixie do and a lust for life
Don't take life for granted
Wake up every morning and say, "today is going to be a great day"
Surround yourself with positive people who lift your spirits
Be appreciative
Make me a sandwich

Viceroy Palm Springs, How I Love Thee

For the past couple of years, we have gone to Palm Springs for my birthday in July. This past birthday, I was a month done with chemo and still struggling a bit and in the middle of radiation. I wasn't really allowed to be in the sun and I was wearing my wig and Palm Springs in the summertime is hot as balls. I was actually pretty bummed. I told John as soon as I'm not wearing my wig and I'm feeling better, we are going. We decided to go for our anniversary trip this past weekend. We always stay at the Viceroy and it feels like our home away from home. It's a boutique hotel so it's small, but they wait on you hand and foot. The food and drinks are delicious. The rooms are funky and cute. And the best part...we get to bring Bert. We had a nice, relaxing time. I do prefer it when it's a bit warmer out, but it was still great. John even got in the pool. We took a yoga class today and I was so impressed with John. He has only done yoga one other time, many years ago, and he did so well. He was able to get in full-on bridge pose. I can't even do that. I also treated myself to a massage, which was very much needed. I have always gotten the best massages at the Viceroy and this weekend was no exception. As I was paying, a masseuse told me she loved my hair. She is the first stranger to tell me she liked my hair, so it lifted my spirits.This weekend gets an A+ in the books.

Just sitting by the pool

Bert + John + bloody marys = yes please

Bert loves the sun

Giant Marilyn Monroe statue in town

Singing Mammogram

If mammograms were anything like singing telegrams, I bet people would enjoy them a hell of a lot more. Today, I had my yearly mammogram. Even though my petscan and bloodwork came back clear, I was still nervous. I am happy to report that it came back clear!!!! My  eyes welled up when the tech told me and I said to her, "last year at this time, I got very different news". My next blood test is Jan 3. Until then, I will be stress free and enjoy the holidays!

Short Hair Don't Care

Am I actually kinda liking my short hair? A little bit. Who knew that I'd be into it. Some days I do feel like a boy or I am anxious for the front to grow a little bit more, but I don't hate it. I even feel a tiny bit confident and almost cocky and I am allowing it because I need it right now. I've always been a bit insecure. I got my nose done a few years ago because I got teased so much as a kid. I was never the pretty girl growing up, which is why I became the funny girl. But now, I feel like the pretty girl (and the funny girl, because let's face it, I'm fucking hilarious). It's interesting that cancer has given me confidence, but shoot, I'll take it.

Me, Stacie and Erin from Erin's photography exhibit this weekend

Still Crazy After All These Years

Today, John and I celebrated our 4 year anniversary! I think someone should call Guinness because I have never been in such a wonderful, normal relationship that has lasted this long (don't tell John). I got home from work to a beautiful bouquet of roses. I am obsessed with flowers of any kind, so it was perfect.  Then, we went to Pace for dinner. I love this place. It's all organic, hormone and antibiotic free. We had a wonderful meal. And to top it all off, I actually felt pretty and feminine for the first time in a long time. My hair is allllllmost at a length that I can style it a bit and I'm playing around with makeup. Today was a great day!

Pr Pr Pr Prius

I am not a car gal.  I thought I was when I bought my mustang several years ago. I loved how it looked, but I was too little for it and it was too much car for me. I decided to buy a Prius in 2009 and never looked back. I loved it. It's not the best looking car, but filling up on gas every 2 weeks for $35 was enough for me and it's so easy to drive. My lease was going to be up in December, but I decided to turn it in early and get the exact same car I had, just updated. So I am now the proud owner of another black Prius (2013). I'm getting the windows tinted tomorrow and the car salesman said the wheels on this Prius are black and look hot without the hubcaps, so I may be taking those off. I gotta pimp my ride so I can ghost ride the whip.

Saying goodbye to an old friend

Saying hello to a new friend who looks exactly the same as my old friend

Walk To End Alzheimer's

Two years ago, I lost my grandfather to Alzheimer's/Dementia. It was awful seeing him deteriorate and I feel for anyone who has to watch a loved one go through this awful disease. When I came home from his funeral, I turned on the TV and there was a commercial for the Walk to End Alzheimer's and I knew it was a sign. I formed our team, The Dirty Martinis (my grandfather's favorite drink) and started fundraising. Last year we raised over $5,000. This year we did just over $1,000, but I'm still proud and I know Grandpa Harry would be too. 

PYT Minus the Y

My oncologist thought I might have some cording on my left side where my lymph node was removed. It's kinda like scar tissue that builds up and just needs to be massaged out by a physical therapist. I went today for my first physical therapy session ever and it was great. She didn't seem to think I had cording. Just thought the muscles was under-used. She did some massage on the area and then we did some stretches and immediately after, I noticed a difference. She said I only needed a couple pt sessions and I'd be good to go (along with daily stretching). I'll be able to lift a car over my head in no time.

The Crying Game

The past year has been filled with crazy, extreme emotions. But what is odd to me is I find myself crying about things that should make me happy. My last day of radiation, which was also my last day of treatments in general, I cried hysterically. I had gotten used to going every day and seeing the same wonderful people. I had found a new normal, and it was going to change again. Today, I cried because I finally took down my wig stand and put my wig in a plastic bag in the cabinet. I remember shopping for a wig like it was yesterday. I remember the first day I wore it. I remember thinking it was going to seem like an eternity until I would feel comfortable not wearing it. Well, that day is here, and the wig is behind me. I should be so excited, but I feel a bit sad. Again, I had gotten used to it and as much as I hated it, it was a part of me for almost 8 months. My hormones are a mess and my body is still getting back to what it was, so I know everything I am feeling is normal, it's just not what I expected.

Here is where my wig stand and wig once lived

Wig Off

I had a bit of anxiety last night and this morning because I was going to work for the first time without my wig. It was all in my head and I made myself nutso. Everyone was amazing. They made me feel great about having super short hair. By the end of the day, I forgot I even had short hair and all my anxiety went away. I have been wearing my wig in public since the first week of March, so roughly 8 months. I have been counting down the days until I was comfortable going without it and I can't believe that day is here. And what is even more exciting is I am going to donate one of my wigs to the chemo center. They give out wigs to women who can't afford them or whose insurance doesn't cover them.

Wigless in Seattle...I Mean West Hollywood

2 huge things happened yesterday. 1) My scan came back clear and 2) I decided to go wigless for good. I was waiting until my appointments were done this week before I chose to take the wig off permanently. I'm not sure why. Maybe it would be a way for me to celebrate being cancer free. Either way, it's very liberating and I'm kinda liking my pixie do. I would still like it to be a tiny bit longer in the front, but it's getting there. I've decided I am going to own it and act as confident as possible while in public. I don't want to come off cocky, but I think right now, I need to act a bit full of myself in order to accept that my hair is an inch long and most of my eyebrows are drawn on. I know some people will stare and some people will wonder why it's so short, especially because I have such an enormous forehead, but they can all suck a fatty because I am cancer free, bitches.

Anticipation Is Worse Than Cancer

I'm going to start this blog off on a good note. my PETscan results came back clear and my bloodwork is excellent!!! That being said, I turned into an anxious maniac the days leading up to my scan. The night before, I gave myself a migraine and puked. I barely ate. All because I was afraid of what the results would show, which, if I may remind you, was NOTHING. John said it best. He told me stressing about something isn't going to change the outcome and most of the time whatever it is you are stressing about, never comes to fruition.
Today's lesson. STOP STRESSING

How I Get My Luscious Locks

In 4 months, my hair has gone from this

 

to this

I have been doing everything possible to make it grow faster. Here are some of my tricks n' tips:

1) I take 5,000 mcgs of Biotin every day (a vitamin). I get it at Trader Joe's.

2) I use BioSil twice a day (liquid vitamin) It's good for skin, nails and hair. I used it before I was diagnosed and I noticed a difference. It's pricey, but worth it. 

3) I use Avalon Organics Thickening Shampoo Biotin B Complex Therapy

4) I rub Jason Thin-To-Thick Energizing Scalp Elixir in my scalp every night before bed.

I also have the best boyfriend in all the land and he rubs my head when I ask him to, which stimulates the hair follicles.

The Calm Before The Storm

This past weekend, I made sure I had a full 2 days so I wouldn't be sitting around thinking about my PETscan and oncologist appointment this week. They are just routine check-ups. I believe I need to have a PETscan every 6 months for a little while and as time goes on, they become less frequent. Same with my oncologist.  Right now, I go every 3 months, but as time goes on, I don't have to go as often. I think I will always have anxiety before a scan or appointment. My friend, Alexis, calls is scanxiety and I think that is a brilliant word for it.

Back to this past weekend. 9 of us went up to Solvang for a wine tour and some shenanigans. We had a great time and it definitely took my mind off this week. And I didn't wear my wig.  It was very liberating. My hair is finally at a length that it just looks like a super short haircut. I was brave and posted the below pic on Facebook and Instagram.  Selfishly, I wanted people to tell me how good I looked so my self-esteem would build up enough to leave the wig off for good. Right now, my plan is to get through this week of doctor's appointments and take the wig off for good on Friday. I'll keep you posted.

Jump Up, Jump Up And Get Down

I had another milestone today. For the first time since I had surgery in December...actually, since I had my biopsy right before last Thanksgiving, I jump-roped!!!! Up until today, it hurt my knockers too much to jump up and down. Now, I am back to being a jump-roping machine.

Celebrity Siting #3

They always say things come in 3s and they are right. Last Saturday, I saw Drew Barrymore. Last Sunday, I saw Mr. Schu. And tonight, ladies and gentlemen, at Whole Foods in West Hollywood, I saw....wait for it....wait for it... MARLON WAYANS!! Who is jealous?

Gimme Brow

I got the Benefit Gimme Brow in the mail today and it's fantastic. It's a tiiiiiiiny mascara wand that you use to brush on the brown eyebrow gel. The brush makes it look like actual hair. It comes in 2 colors. I got the darker color because my brows are pretty dark, but I'm wondering if the lighter one would look better.  Below are some pix!

Brows without Gimme Brow

Brows with Gimme Brow

If You Liked My Post About Drew Barrymore, You Are Going To Love This One

This was a weekend of celebrity sightings. First was good ol' Drew Barrymore in my yoga class and tonight, it was Mr. Schu (Matthew Morrison) from Glee, in line for the Terror Tram at Universal's Halloween Horror Nights. He was taller than I thought he'd be and he kiiinda had a Justin Timberlake vibe going on. He was with a group of really good looking people, one being his fiance. As we were leaving on the tram, he was waiting for the next one and of course I yelled, "MR. SCHUUUUUU!!!" I took a picture (below), because I am a creep.

Celebrity Yoga

I did awful in my yoga class today because DREW BARRYMORE WAS RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME and I couldn't stop looking at her!!! Her mat was literally right in front of mine. Her blanket was touching my mat. I'm so bad at spotting celebrities and when she walked in, all I thought was, "Nah, that can't be Drew Barrymore. She wouldn't come to a gentle yoga class in West Hollywood on a Saturday morning." But it was her. She had all the Drew tattoos and then I heard her speak. She was actually very limber. I was impressed. She also left class twice to do who knows what. I was wondering if she wanted people to recognize her. I wanted to tell her I loved her in "Poison Ivy," but I'm sure she hears that all the time, so I refrained.

The Benefit of Benefit

I tried a new mascara from Benefit called "They're Real." My lashes are taking their sweet time growing in and at this point I will try anything to make them look thicker. Below is a picture of my eyelashes after applying the mascara. Now, I know they aren't anything to write home about, but compared to how they look with other mascara, they aren't too shabby. I also ordered Benefit's Gimme Brow for my eyebrows. Once I give that product a whirl, I will write a post. I know you will all be on pins and needles.

Brow Chik-A Brow Wow

While my lashes are finally starting to fill in, my brows aren't growing at all. I had a few new hairs, but then it stopped. I don't know if they are never coming back or if it's just taking a very long time. Luckily, I didn't lose them all, but if I don't pencil them in, they look pretty sparse. Below are some pix.

brows pre-chemo

brows 4 months post-chemo, not penciled in

brows 4 months post-chemo, penciled in

Breast Cancer Awareness Month

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. It's lovely to see everyone all "pinked" out and having fundraisers and such. My amazing hair stylist, Jordana,  has a great deal running now where if you donate money to the Breast Cancer Research Foundation, you get a free pink hair extension. I decided to donate and have her put one in my wig. She also trimmed my hair a tiiiiny bit today. My first haircut!! She just cleaned up the sides and back, but it was still exciting. I also painted my nails pink and sketched the breast cancer ribbon on one of them. I never thought I'd be "celebrating" Breast Cancer Awareness Month, but I feel proud to be part of the team.

When The Cat Is Away...

The past 10 months, if John had to go out of town, I'd be sad because I needed a little more extra help than normal. This weekend, he was away and I had a great weekend all to myself. Don't get me wrong, I missed the hell out of him, but I am back to my old self and can handle being alone for a few days.

I started out my weekend watching "The Bling Ring" (awful) and taking a Gentle Yoga class Saturday at Yogaworks, which I loved. The teacher was fantastic. I told her my situation and she gave me extra attention. I think I will make it a weekly outing. She actually told me I did great, which was I needed to hear. I know I am not where I was but I am getting there.

I also hung with some good pals.  Saturday, Bert and I got to hang with our pals Frank, Darlene and Pierre, which is always a good time. Today,  I got to see my old roomie, Stacie, and her sister and her kids, who I love dearly.  We had a great time eating and shopping.

I got a massage yesterday too but it was not what I thought it was going to be. It was reflexology and I thought it was going to be a hand and foot massage. It was not. It was like accupressure for an hour and it hurt. It was bullshit and  I will not be doing that again.

I have some busy weekends coming up FINALLY and I am looking forward to every minute of it. I am so glad my life is pretty much back on track.

Halloween Costume

Raise your hand if you think I should be Fantine from Les Mis for Halloween (pic below). It's either that or Miley. This shaved head is very verstaile

Fivehead

Thought I'd update you on my hair growth. Below is the picture from July 25 and then a photo from today. It's actually almost long enough to put product in and it feels thicker and longer today than it did yesterday. I am hoping by the end of October, if not sooner, I'll be wigless for good. P.S., who is jealous of my Tyra Banks forehead?

Namaste

I took my first "real" yoga class since being diagnosed this weekend (by real, I mean not one that is offered at the chemo center, but a class that is offered to everyone at my gym). It was a Vinyasa Flow class at Crunch and it was more challenging than I thought it would be. I've been working out with a trainer and stretching almost daily and I am definitely more flexible, but I am not quite back to where I was. I had to revert to child's pose often. I am not sure I will be going back to that class until I am a bit more flexible. I also didn't love the teacher. I could barely hear her and she was playing Bob Marley the whole time (I am one of 3 people in the world who does not like Bob Marley).I think I am going to start taking Gentle Yoga and Restorative Yoga at Yogaworks to get me back on track.

Hairy Houdini

When you have almost no hair, it seems like it takes 800 years for it to grow in. I just looked at the picture I took on July 25 and then looked in the mirror and it really has grown a lot. I feel like in a month, it will be a regular, normal hairstyle. Of course, I will keep you posted.

Here is the photo from 7/25. My hair had just started growing back

Here is a picture from today (almost 2 months later). The bow looks ridiculous, but it's actually clipped into my hair!! I got so excited. A week ago, it wasn't long enough to clip the bow in

Tamoxifen

I started Tamoxifen today. It is a pill that I have to take daily for 5-10 years and it helps prevent breast cancer from coming back by lowering the estrogen in your knockers.

So far so good. I mean it's only day 1, but I don't feel any different. The most common side effect is a good, old-fashioned hot flash. I am used to them from chemo and from my hormones being all jacked up so I'm not too worried about it. You can also gain weight, but I m going to keep my diet in check and workout, so hopefully I'll stay slender.

Before I had surgery, my doctor told me I'd have to be on it for  5 years. After my surgery, she said a new study came out that suggested 10 years might be better. I don't care if I am on it for the rest of my life, if it keeps the c word away.

Friday the 13th: Revenge Of The Burbank Police

I meant to post this on Friday, but forgot, so I am doing it now...

So my Friday the 13th was supposed to be great. I was doing a set visit on Modern Family and was pretty excited. On my way there, though, I got pulled over for being on speaker phone (which I honestly didn't know was illegal). The cop was actually very nice and felt awful but still gave me a citation. It sucked but I was doing something I shouldn't be doing and I got caught so it's my fault and I'm not stressin' about it. Since it is the first time I got busted for it, I am hoping they will go easy on me. I'm prepared to pay a lot though.

As for the set visit, it was awesome. The prop department over there is so nice. They helped us load everything in and then gave us a tour of the set. Below are a couple pictures of our trip. Please notice my spooky eyes.

It's Been A Long Time. I Shouldn't Have Left You, Without A Dope Beat To Step To

I haven't blogged in a while. Mostly because my life is pretty much back to where it was and I have nothing exciting to report. I'm in my second week of work and it feels like I never left. My hair is getting thicker and longer by the day. Still not 100% comfy going without the wig, but I'm getting there.  We are going to San Diego this weekend for a wedding and I cannot wait. We will be with a super fun bunch of peeps. Welp, this is probably my most boring blog entry. Thanks for letting me waste your time.

XOXO,
Gossip Girl

Workin' On My Fitness

John and I joined Crunch gym on Tuesday and yesterday we made our first trip. Crunch's slogan is "no judgements," which is perfect for me because I went wigless! I don't know that I would have done it without John. I feel more comfortable with no wig on when he's around because he makes me feel so beautiful.
The workout was just a quick 30 minute walk on the treadmill, but I am going to start out slow. I am also still working out with Shanna Ferrigno. I am determined to get into the best shape of my life.

Nothing Compares 2 U

I am slowly getting more comfortable not wearing my wig around people. Below is a picture of me from this past Saturday sans wig. If you can believe it, my hair is even thicker today, 3 days later. It's growing pretty fast.

Office Space

After 6 months of being on medical leave, I started back at work today. Below are 2 lovely signs that were waiting for me at my desk. My pals Gigi and Tammie also brought me flowers and a balloon.