Yes They're Fake. My Real Ones Tried To Kill Me

It's been a hot minute since I've written a post. Partly because I've been lazy and partly because I've  been posting a lot on my actual FB page.
So yesterday I had my second surgery to swap out my expander for my implant on the left, plus fat grafting. I am pretty sore today, but I am glad it's done. Now they are the same size and actually look like nice boobs (minus the bruising). Within the next couple of weeks, the swelling and bruising should go away and I'll be comfortable wearing low cut shirts. The surgery was pretty easy. I came home and slept all day and took vicodin.
The next step is nipple reconstruction, which I technically don't have to be put out for. But we will see how brave I am feeling.
I never in a million years thought I'd have implants but here we are and I am kinda into them. They are for sure  nicer than my old ugly ones.
Fake boobs are the new black

It's A Hard Knocker Life

Had a fill today and now my knockers are the same size. I may need one more fill to stretch the skin so they have more to work with during surgery. It's nice to look down and finally be somewhat comfortable with what I see. For 2 years they've been uneven and mismatched. The one that gets filled is harder than the one with the implant so it feels interesting but I'll take interesting over painful. Can't wait til I can wear a bathing suit and not be self conscious!

A Little Setback

I went to see the nurse at the plastic surgeon's office today for a fill, like I do every week and there was a tiiiiiiiny hole where one of the stitches came out. Since I am at high risk for infection, they didn't want to take any chances, so she removed 50ccs of saline from my expander :( and then I had to have a really quick and painless procedure where they cut the skin around the hole and stitch it back up. I was crying in the room because this is a setback. Not only do I now need to wait 3 weeks to get another fill, but they took 50ccs out so I won't be done as soon as I thought. The funny part of all this is that we walked across the street to eat lunch and my surgeon was already over there eating hahaha.

Can You Pay My Fills, Can You Pay My Automofills

Had my 4th fill today. They only did 25 ccs instead of 50 ccs because they want to be extra careful since I was previously radiated. That's fine though.  I will need 2-3 more and then I am done. My boobs pretty much look the same size now. I thought it was going to take months and it's only been 6 weeks!! I still don't feel the fill, thankfully.

Also, I was going to go see Gone Girl today for $5 up at the Sundance Theater but a) it's raining and I don't feel like leaving the house again and b) I forgot that I hate going to movies. I have a weird illness where every single person in a movie theater annoys me. Also the smell of popcorn in a movie theater makes me nauseous. John is a lucky, lucky man.

Happy Tuesday!

The Turducken of Desserts

I have been wanting to make a form of this dessert for some time. I saw it on the Food Network. It's a pie baked inside of a cake!! You can do any flavor pie and any flavor cake. I decided to do a pumpkin pie inside of a chocolate cake for Thanksgiving. It's pretty easy. You need 2 boxes of cake mix and a store bought pie. Take a large springform pan and spray it with baking spray and wrap the outside with tin foil in case it leaks. Then put about an inch of cake batter in the pan. Then drop the pie in the middle and cover it with the rest of the cake batter. Put it in the oven at 350 til done. Mine took about 2 hours. It takes awhile because it's a lot of batter but it's worth it. I frosted it with chocolate frosting and added some whip cream after it was sliced.

3 Fills High And Rising

I had my 3rd fill today and like the other 2, I did not feel it. My boobs are almost the same size now and looking good!!!

Boob Fil A

Had my second fill today and it was just as easy and painless as the first one. She was able to put 50 ccs in this time since I did so well with 50 last time. Right now my left boob is at 160 ccs and my right is at 290, and if you are a star mathematician like I am, then you will know I only need 3 more fills to match the right one (if she does 50 each time). My second surgery to swap out the implant will most likely be in March and I will be able to go back to work in January. New knockers, here I come!

Fill 'Er Up

I got my first expander fill today. I didn't feel one bit of it. There's a lil metal opening on the expander. My doctor takes a magnetic thingy (I think that's the medical term for it) and finds the opening and makes a lil mark on my skin. Then she takes a very small needle filled with saline and sticks it on in and fills her up. I got 50 CCs today and I can notice a huge difference. Now my boobs are more symmetrical. She said I can come in every week to get it filled. At this rate, I may be able to get my implant swap much sooner than I thought!

We also got to visit our friends Frank and Darlene who just had a sweet baby girl yesterday. Madaleine Alexandria. She is beautiful and I was so glad we were able to go see her.

5 Years And Still Going

Tomorrow is our 5 year anniversary. I can't believe it's been that long already. It feels like we've always been together. I don't know what I would do without this amazing man in my life. He has helped me on so many levels and I love him dearly.

We decided to go to dinner tonight to celebrate. Our friend recommended a new place on La Cienega called Barton G. It was an experience unlike no other.  All the food was presented in an outrageous way. As you can see in the pictures below, the popcorn shrimp came in a popcorn machine, with popcorn!! The chicken dish came on a wooden serving platter with a giant metal bird. I highly recommend this place. You won't be disappointed.

This sweet note was on chocolate

Our dessert. Different pies in flower pots

John's meal...a chicken dish

Popcorn shrimp appetizer...in an old timey popcorn machine

Hey, Boo!

As I mentioned on my FB page, I was very sad this yesterday. I love Halloween and since I was still so sore and uncomfortable, it's the first Halloween in years that I did nothing. Didn't even think of a costume.  I love dressing up. I love eating sugary, spooky treats. I love going to work and seeing everyone's costumes and I love going to our friend's house to watch the husband scare the crap out of every trick-or-treater that comes to their door. But I had to make the best of the situation. I got a bag of mini Kit-Kats and John carved a Patriots logo into a pumpkin. We actually had fun. We sat outside and got to see a lot of our neighbors. John made a really good dinner (although I was too nauseous from antibiotics to eat most of it). And we ended the night by walking Bert down to SM Blvd and we got to see a bunch of people in costume. So it wasn't a total dud, just not what I'm used to.

Driving Miss Stacey

I got one of my drains out today. I stressed myself out real good last night and this morning thinking about it. It wasn't bad. It didn't hurt, just felt like a tiny snake being pulled out. My doctor was very gentle so I barely felt it. Hopefully I can get the other one out by Thursday. Once it is out, I think I'll be feeling much better. Still sore and stiff, but every day it gets a tiny bit better. My doctors are so wonderful and kind, which helps because if you know me, you know I am a hot busted stress case.

I can't drive yet so John had to drive me today. I sat in the back seat like Driving Miss Daisy, with a pillow between me and the seat belt. He has been such a trooper.

I got to see my knock knocks for the first time today. The right one looks pretty good. It's the one with the implant. The doc said it was a small C, which is nice because that's bigger than I was before all this nonsense. The left one still needs some TLC. It looks pretty awful but that's expected with reconstruction. I just need to be patient, which I am not.

As Time Goes By

A week ago today, I was in the operating room. It seems like just yesterday my breast surgeon was telling me that I would need a double mastectomy and now it's a week after having it done. Last week was such a blur (as you can see below). Soooo many people emailed and texted me and it's all so hazy. I hope I didn't say anything offensive to anyone. I feel like I was drunk for 5 days straight. They kept pumping me with pain meds and anti anxiety meds and at the time I felt like I was fully aware of everything but after talking to John last night, I realize there's a lot I don't recall haha. Oh well, I guess that's expected.

So it's been a week and I am still pretty sore. I am up and moving around, but very slowly. I still have drains. I will get one out tomorrow and probably the second one out a few days later. I have a sports bra on that I can't take off. I think once that comes off, I'll feel a bit of relief. It's most uncomfortable when I am sleeping because it hurts to be reclined.

I can't really fully see my boobs, but the right one looks pretty awesome from what I can see.  I'll have to be patient with the poor left one. I look forward to the day when I can wear a swimsuit again  or a low cut shirt.

We're All Stars Now In The Dope Show

So I am looking at my blog and I have no recollection of writing the post below this. I guess I was more drugged up than I thought hahaha. And who titles a post "Grey's Anatomy" anyway? So stupid.

Grey's Anatomy

I am sitting here in the hospital, day 4, watching Sex and the City and thought it would be a great time to blog.  My surgery went well. There were no signs of cancer and I couldn't be happier. I am healing pretty well so far. Not a ton of pain. I did get a lil pukey Monday but that's expected. I have a team of doctors and nurses waiting on my hand and foot, plus John. The food is bleh and I don't really have an appetite. I miss Bert and Lola and want my own bed but they don't want to send me home til they know I can walk on my own. I just get so tired so easily, but it's baby steps. They had to put an implant on my right side and an expander on the left, which is fine. It was the safest choice and I am okay with it. I will need a second surgery to swap the expander out for the implant probably in about 2 months, depending on how I am healing. I'm not in too much pain just yet. More updates as I heal :)

Healthy Food Can Be Delicious

I really try hard to eat healthy. Sometimes it's not easy. When I go out to dinner and there's a kale salad and spaghetti and meatballs on the menu, it's hard to make the healthier choice. I've been playing around with a recipe that I think is actually really tasty and extremely good for you. Check it out and if you give it a try, let me know what you think:

-Quinoa (as much or as little as you'd like)
-Some sort of vegetable- I usually use brussel sprouts, but this week there weren't any organic ones so I used kale. Spinach or asparagus would be great too. Again, as much or as little as you'd like.
-Handful of walnuts, roasted (almonds would also work great)
-Handful of goji berries (you could use raisins or golden berries or any dried fruit really)
-Turmeric
-Salt
-Pepper
-1 lemon
Make the quinoa as directed on the package and do a rough chop on the nuts and pop them in the oven til you can smell them. If you are using brussel sprouts or asparagus, chop them up and pop em in the oven with the nuts and a bit of olive oil and salt and pepper.  With the kale, I just chopped it up and added it to the warm quinoa to wilt. After the quinoa is done, mix in the roasted nuts and vegetables and add the goji berries, salt, pepper and turmeric to taste (you can add whatever spices you'd like).  Then squeeze the juice of one lemon in that bad boy and voila! You have a healthy dish.

The Happiest Place On Earf

John and I went to Disneyland/California Adventure today and we had a blast. I LOVE Disneyland during Halloween-time. They do it up right. They turn the Haunted Mansion into Nightmare Before Christmas and put pumpkin stuff all over the park. I was so sad I wouldn't be able to go this year but I was feeling good and wanted a to have a fun time before my surgery on Monday so we went. We ate nothing but crap and I loved every minute of it. The crowd wasn't too bad and the weather was just right. I had a beanie on and had to take it off a few times in the bathroom because I was hot, but for the most part, it wasn't bad. The only ride we didn't get to go on because the wait was 2 hours was Radiator Springs Racers at Cali Adventure. The line is always so long for that ride and we never want to wait.  And now I will rest my feet and watch Wendy Williams.

John on California Screamin'

John with a goat in the Disney petting zoo

You Down With Pre-Op (Yeah You Know Me)

I had a great pre-op appointment today. My plastic surgeon and my breast surgeon were both in the room (they work together) and said my left breast looks much better than it did last time and there is a chance they will be able to put implants in at the time of my mastectomy!!! They won't know until they are actually operating but the fact that it is a possibility made me feel so much better.  I got to try implants on (in my bra) and I think I am going to go for the full B, small C if possible. I don't feel as nervous about the surgery now. I am more excited to get brand new boobs. They will take some time to settle and look the way I want them to but they can't look much worse than they do right now. My surgery date is October 20 and I will be in the hospital for a couple of days.  I will keep everyone abreast of my situation (see what I did there).

Mom's Feeling Better (Anyone Get That Reference??)

I'm finally starting to feel better. This weekend is the first weekend since May that I have plans. Yesterday John and I went to Placentia to visit one of my best friends and her hubby in their new amazing townhouse. I didn't want to leave.

Then last night we went to a friend's birthday party at a local bar. It was so great seeing everyone and being around humans.

Today we are going to visit our friends and their dog Trixie, who I am in love with. After that, we are heading to my cousin's son's first birthday party.

I am tired but I am so grateful I am feeling well enough to get the hell out of this house

On The Good News Lollipop

Some good news, FINALLY! My petscan yesterday came back A-OK. Still no cancer anywhere else in my body. My left breast lit up a bit but not nearly as much as it did in May and it may not be cancer, it could just be scar tissue from my lumpectomy.

I also started using Latisse on my brows and lashes last night. Yay. I am sooo anxious to see if it works. Last time, my eyebrows didn't really grow back and my lashes were lame, but I didn't use anything to help them grow.

For the first time since May, I have a full weekend of seeing friends and family and I cannot wait!!!

Let The Countdown Begin

Tomorrow will mark 20 days until the 1st of 3 surgeries. I will be  a third of the way to being Miss New Boobs. I am excited and nervous as hell. I have never had an inpatient surgery where I have had to stay in the hospital so I am anxious, but I have actually heard a few stories of women who are up and running a week later. Fingers crossed that I follow their lead. Let's do this October 20th!