Happy Birfday Lil Bro

Today is kinda a tough one for me. It is my brother's birthday and I feel like ass so I can't celebrate with him. Also, a year ago this weekend we were all in Big Bear celebrating me being cancer free. Just goes to show that you never know what tomorrow will bring so live each day to the fullest. Wake up every day happy and excited and don't stress about what you can't control.

Done With August

21 days left of this bs. One treatment left. Done with August.

On Sept 8, I go for my plastic surgeon consult to see what she can do with my mess of a chest. I'm actually kinda excited. I never thought I'd have fake boobs.

I am not looking forward to the next week, but I am also glad I only have one left. This past round was bad for a little over a week and then I started to feel better. I still had days of feeling icky but it wasn't as bad as the last round. Here's hopin' this round is the same.

Time to lay in bed and get waited on by John :)

R.I.P. Candy Dapple

After 16 wonderful years, my parents put our sweet lil' Dachshund, Candy, down this evening. It was not an easy decision, obviously, and we are all heartbroken. Her health had been declining the past few months. She had kidney problems, back problems, seizures, she couldn't see or hear well...I guess just the normal health problems and older dog gets. He quality of life wasn't good. Luckily they were able to have someone come to the house and do it. It was peaceful and fast.

My parents got her when she was a puppy. They went to the wiener dog farm (that's what I call it) to pick one out to bring home. Candy came out of the kitchen with a wooden spoon she had just gotten from the dishwasher and my dad said, "That's the one. Wrap her up." She's what you call a Dapple and the owners named her "Candy Dapple." My parents stuck with the Candy part but dropped the Dapple. She was very smart and very intuitive. She could tell when my parents were about to go on a trip and would freak out.  Or if they were just going out for the night, she'd sense it and go get in her bed before they could tell her. She was great on walks and was super affectionate. She actually was a bit of a daddy's girl.

A few months after getting her, they decided to adopt Louie, also a dachshund who looks more like a Jack Russel Terrier. He's slightly younger than Candy but acts like a puppy. He will be sad to lose his sister and best friend.

Dogs bring so much joy and happiness to people's lives, but they certainly don't live long enough. I'm going to write a letter to the Dog Fairy and tell her to make dogs live longer so humans don't have to suffer.

R.I.P Candy. We love you!

You Had Me In Stitches

Here's some shocking news. I made something way worse in my head than it actually was. I had a second lumpectomy back in May and because I was starting chemo soon after, my surgeon had to use real stitches, in addition to dissolvable stitches to insure the wound would not open up.  She wanted to keep them in longer than normal because of the chemo but I persuaded her to keep them in until today...almost 3 months after surgery. I have never had stitches removed and I was so scared it was going to hurt. Then I had an "a-ha moment." In 2 months, I am going to be having major surgery. I'm pretty sure I will have breast drains that will need to be removed and if I am not brave enough to get a few stitches removed, how the hell am I going to get drains removed. So I manned up and told her to rip em out today. Guess what guys, I barely felt it. Maybe a tiiiiiny bit of stinging, but not at all what I thought it was going to be.  And what are a few stitches compared to what I've been through the past 2 years. I was such a ding-dong about it and it was not a big deal at all.