Wu-Tang Forever

I am a week into my second infusion and I definitely feel better than the first one but still not as "good" as I did my first time around, over a year ago. Right now, the worst of it is my mouth feels like a giant asshole and I am having digestion issues. I saw my oncologist yesterday (who hugged me 3 times. Jealous much?) and she said my bloodwork looked great and she's giving me some sort of patch for nausea for my next round in 2 weeks.  I had a craving for Cheerios last night and John went to Whole Foods at 9pm to get me an organic box of them. I don't know what I'd do without him. I am going to be working with an acupuncturist to help with my other side effects. He helped me last time, so I'm confident he can help me this time around.

Neulasta? More Like NOlasta

Had my hydration and Neulasta shot today. I've mentioned it several times before but that Neulasta shot is a killer. It makes you achy and feel fluish. I'm going to be a fluish Jewish girl this weekend. Thank you I'll be here all week folks. This round was easier but I still don't feel great. I'm very full of fluids, which means I'm very bloated. My face is puffy and any food or beverage sounds gross but if I don't eat or drink, I get nauseous. It's all very chicken and egg. Hopefully the next week won't be as bad as last time, but the bright side is I am done with 2 and only have 4 more!

2 Chainz and 2 Down

Today I had my second infusion. It went a lot more smoothly than the first. They cut my Benadryl does in half, so I wasn't as groggy. They gave me a really strong anti-nausea med in my IV. I had a new, wonderful nurse whose beautiful name was Stacey. I am hoping this all means that this round won't produce as many awful side effects as last time. I am armed with remedies if I start to feel shit-tastic. I was there from 9-4 and John sat with me the whole time. We played Head's Up and watched TV. It goes by fast for me, but it's got to be rough for him to sit there that long. I appreciate him more than I can express.
2 down, 4 to go. Then BOOBIES.

Julian, CA

I wanted to take a lil overnight trip before my next chemo and while I was still feeling somewhat okay. I suggested my favorite go-to destination, Solvang. I can't drink so it probably wouldn't be as much fun. John suggested Julian, CA. He's suggested it before. It's in the mountains above San Diego. About an hour from Temecula. A tiny little gold-mining town known for their apple crop. We stayed at a quaint hotel that allowed dogs, so we were able to bring Bert. It was super mellow and just what I needed. It took us about 2 hours and 45 minutes to get there. We checked in and then walked around the town and got some lunch. Then we came back to the hotel and napped and then went for a really good dinner at this organic restaurant that had a lady singing songs and playing guitar. The next day we got a tasty breakfast and I grabbed an apple dumpling to go. They are known for their apples so I couldn't not get one. It was the perfect get-away!

Shot of the old western-looking town

Our breakfast spot

Our hotel

Shave And A Haircut, 2 Bits

Welp. My head is shaved like GI Jane. This time was a bit harder. I was getting used to my short hair-do and I don't want to have to wait 900 years for it to grow back again. However, I knew I had to take the power away from the cancer/chemo and shave it before it fell out.  Truth be told, with enough eye makeup, it doesn't look awful. It just looks like a shaved head right now. In a few days, I will look like a cancer patient. It did take some stress off my plate though. It's no fun waiting for your hair to fall out. Now I won't have to wonder when it will happen.

Sitting in the chair about to get shaved

Hair Update

A few more hairs are coming out when I run my fingers through it now. Sooo I'm guessing I'll be shaving it Tuesday or Wednesday. Stay tuned...

Hair Thoughts

During my last round of chemo, my hair started to majorly shed about a week and a half after my first infusion and I shaved it 2 weeks in. This Thursday, it will be 2 weeks since my infusion and I am not shedding at all.  Is it possible I am not going to lose my hair this time? Is that wishful thinking? Probably. All my doctors said I would lose my hair but it's interesting that it hasn't started falling out yet. If my hair doesn't fall out, I am buying all of you a cupcake.

Update: I ran my fingers through my hair this morning and a few came out. I know that seems like normal hair loss but since my hair has grown back, no hairs come out when I run my hands through it so I'm guessing it's starting.

Baby's Day Out

I actually spent a good amount of the day today outside of the house. I was exhausted, but that's about it. It was good for me to get out. We had lunch with a friend of John's at The Avalon Hotel in Beverly Hills, where we saw Elijah Wood. After that, we ran some errands and visited a friend and his new puppy.  I am extremely tired but I'll take it over the nausea and stomach problems. Hopefully I'll gradually start to feel better...until my next infusion.

Elijah Wood at The Avalon

John and Ruby

I Made It!

I am pleased to announce that I made it to the Gay Pride Parade today. I was so happy, I almost started crying. It was soooooooooooo great to get out of the house for an hour and a half and be around people in the fresh air and sun. I brought my Hello Kitty umbrella since I can't be directly in the sun and it worked like a charm. I saw some amazing floats and some inspiring human beings. Equality is awesome!

Stop Stressing About Other Peoples' Experiences

I am a prime example of why you should never look anything up on the Internet or listen to anyone but your doctor when you are going through an illness.  When I first went through chemo, it was tough at times, sure, but it was nothing like what I've been going through this past week. Every person is different and every drug has different side effects. My experience has been very different this time around. I can't even go by my own chemo experience. So if you take nothing else from what I've been going through,  just remember this one thing: Your situations are just that, your own! No matter what it is. An illness, a pregnancy, a surgery, etc. Just because one person feels something during their experience doesn't mean you will.

Pity Party For One

A year ago today, I finished my last round of chemo. A year later, I am a week into the first round of 6 more infusions. Oddly, both are falling on Gay Pride Weekend. Last year I was feeling too sick to go enjoy the parade, but I am hoping by Sunday I feel well enough to walk down there for a bit. I love Pride Weekend and was so bummed I missed it last year.

I have thrown such a huge pity party for myself this time around. All I do is cry and feel sorry for myself. I wish I could snap out of it and be the warrior I was last year. Every little thing is making me sad. I just went to make an English muffin and there was mold on it and I lost it. Then I thought, "um have I been eating moldy muffins the past few days??"

My amazing man is in Boston for his college reunion and I am so sad I can't be there.  There are so many things I am going to miss this Summer. Hell, my 40th birthday is the weekend after my 3rd infusion. How's that for sucky.

I promise I won't continue to post sad sap entries. It is like therapy to get it all out. I am hoping once I start to feel normal again, I'll be back to my old smart-ass self