The Final Countdown

Welp, folks, tomorrow is June 1. When I was diagnosed in November and figured out my plan of action, I thought June wouldn't come soon enough. Well it's here and it came quickly.

I am counting down the days until Thursday. One more weekend of feeling achy and getting a fever after the Nulasta shot. One more month(ish) until I am feeling like a normal person. The doctor said it could take 4-6 weeks after my last treatment to feel better. I am already taking biotin and Biosil to help my hair grow in faster. Starting June 13, I can start using Latisse to help my lashes and brows come back (even though I didn't fully lose them). If only there was a serum to put on my legs and under my arms to keep that hair from coming back. I guess that is what laser hair removal is for.

After June 7, no more steroids. After June 23, no more blood thinner. After June 28, no more port in my arm. After July 6, no more glutamine powder.

Suck it,  cancer.

LET'S DO THIS

Pop Quiz

True or false:

I just ate a somewhat large bag of Doritos and a slightly smaller bag of mint M&Ms

Little Red Riding Patch

Like clockwork, a week after each treatment, I get red patches on my cheeks that itch a tiiiiiny bit. The first 2 times I went in to the doc and she told me to put some calendula on it. She thought it was just an allergic reaction to one of the meds. They don't stay very long and they actually make me look like I have a bit of blush, or rouge, as the old timers say it, on my cheeks. Below is an extremely flattering picture of my cheek. I may submit it to America's Next Top Model to see if I can get on that gem of a show (is it even still on??)
P.S.
If any one needs a winter coat, my tongue will be selling his this week after he is done wearing it. Is it weird that my tongue is a guy?

Chemo: Secrets to Thriving (My Guidebook)

Shortly after I started chemo, a friend of mine (who was also going through chemo) sent me a book that changed my life. She said it was helping her so much and knew it would help me as well. It's called "Chemo: Secrets to Thriving (From Someone Who's Been There) by Roxanne Brown (who is a breast cancer survivor).

I didn't want to read any books from women who had gone through a similar experience because I was so afraid it would be all gloom and doom. I was afraid I'd read a side effect they had and then I'd put it in my head that I was going to get that side effect. This book is not scary at all. It's a perfect guidebook. It's a very easy read and I have referenced it probably 100 times. It talks about the POSSIBLE side effects you can get and easy tips if you get them. For example, I get really teary eyes. There is a section that addresses it and tells you to always have a small packet of tissues with you (which I never carried) and an antihistamine (with your doctor's approval).  But she doesn't freak you out by saying, "you are for sure going to get teary eyes and sorry for your luck." The reality is, everyone is different and not everyone gets the same side effects but if you happen to get teary eyes, the book has a good remedy. My fingernails also started to hurt a bit after my last treatment so I went to the Skin and Nails section in the book and was so comforted to read her nails got sore as well. There is a section for everything and the book has really eased my anxiety.

I emailed the author to thank her for writing her book and helping me through chemo. I didn't expect her to write me back but she did and was so sweet and supportive.

If you know someone who is going through chemo, the best gift you can give them is this book. Below is the link on Amazon.
http://www.amazon.com/Chemo-Secrets-Thriving-someone-there/dp/1935254537/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1369061727&sr=8-1&keywords=chemo%3A+secrets

I Almost Forgot

How silly of me. I almost forgot the most exciting part of John's and my day today. We saw Breckin Meyer walking across the street with a very hot, leggy blonde. How could I have neglected to tell you guys that very important piece of information. He's been in such gems as Road Trip, Can't Hardly Wait (one of my personal favorites), Franklin and Bash, and Clueless. For those of you who still have no idea who he is, below is a photo.

5 Down, 1 To Go. Oh, and Also, I AM DONE WITH MAY

One mother-effer left up in this piece and I am counting down the days. It hasn't been nearly as bad as I had anticipated but the past couple weeks have been kinda stupid. The side effects are cumulative so by treatment #4, I felt more tired and my muscles were really sore (still are) from one of the drugs and from not using them very much. More than anything, I am bored.  I don't go out a ton since I can get sick so easily, and now that my muscles are so sore, it is hard to be on my feet too long.
Something interesting is happening, however, that I did not anticipate. I started feeling depressed last week and I wasn't sure why. I should be soo happy that I am almost done, but I feel sad. My surgeon and therapist both said it is very common for someone going through chemo to feel depressed and have a bit of a breakdown at the end of treatments. We HAVE to be so strong and go into fight mode when we are going through it. But now that it's almost done, and I got through it, I feel like I can breathe a sigh of relief, and I guess with that sigh come emotions and the reality of what I've been through.  I haven't really thought too much about my diagnosis the past 6 months,  because it was just too overwhelming. But now that I can kinda look back on it all, it's emotional. And now I have to "worry" about getting my life back to normal. Waiting for my hair to grow back, waiting for my muscles to start working again, going back to work (although I visited the other day and that helped me tremendously. I was a bit nervous about everyone seeing me in a wig, but now that stress is gone and it made me miss everyone). As odd as it sounds, I really enjoy going to the center for my treatments. I just sit there for a few hours but all the nurses come see me, along with my nutritionist and therapist. They are all so kind and friendly and they have helped me sooooo much through all of this. I will miss seeing them every 3 weeks. They have become my second family.
I keep telling myself the hard part is done and if I can get through that, I can get through anything. In the wise words of a one miss Kelly Clarkson, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. And in the wise words of  Dr. Dre, bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks.

Working on the Night Sweats

One of the things chemo can do is give you symptoms of menopause. 2 of the loveliest of side effects are hot flashes and night sweats. I'll be going about my day, minding my damn business and BOOM hot flash. It's a crazy feeling. I'm just all of a sudden super hot. It doesn't last very long, but it's lame. Not as lame as a good night sweat, however. I've had night sweats before, but not like this. My doctor actually put me on medication to help stop them and it seems to be working. Once in a while though, a night sweat will sneak in, usually right after a treatment. I've been sleeping with the window open, in very little clothing and on a towel. I should be getting a call from Playboy any day now.
My fifth treatment is tomorrow and then only one left after that!! You guys should probably start thinking about what gifts you are going to get me. I like diamonds and houses.

Look Good, Feel Better

The American Cancer Society has a program called Look Good, Feel Better for women going through chemo and/or radiation. It shows us gals how to put on makeup with all our skin and hair changes. I attended a class today and loved it. There were only 3 of us in there but it was such a bonding experience. The volunteers were amazing. They showed me how to make it look like I have fuller eyelashes and how to get rid of the dark circles under my eyes. I also got to take home a pretty nice bag of makeup. I left there feeling prettier than I have in a while. They gave me some really good makeup tips.

And because I know you are all wondering, here is an update on my white trash neighbor: The other day the doorbell rang. John was out walking Bert and I thought it might be him, so I threw on my wig (in case it wasn't him) and opened the door. Mind you, I had 0 makeup on and was in my pjs. It was the smoking jerk. She was dropping off wine for us because John was going to help her with her car. As I was shutting the door, she said, "girl, you need to go spray tanning". I was already feeling really emotional that day and not very pretty. So I say something like, "I am fine being pale" and shut the door. So John comes home and I am crying and I tell him what happened and he was pissed. He went next door and told her she made me feel bad and my priority is not my tan right now. He said she looked like she was about to cry. And then she tried to make him feel bad for her.I'm done feeling sorry for her. I'm done even being cordial to her. I kinda want to poke her in the neck.

Today's treat: 7 popsicles from Suck It Sweets

Magna Doodle

A few people told me to try acupuncture for some of the side effects of chemo. My yoga teacher told me about a guy who uses magnets instead of needles (right up my alley). I went today and it was pretty fascinating. He did a little bit of an exam and the parts of my body that were tense, eased up when he put magnets on certain parts of my hands. I also felt incredibly relaxed while I had the magnets on. Almost like I had taken a Xanax or Ativan. They are tiiiiiny, powerful magnets. He gave them to me to take home so I can put them on at my leisure.  So far my muscle pain has eased up, so maybe it's working????  He is going to work with me on my diet and exercise plan once I am done with chemo. He also gave me some herbs to help with the bone pain after the Nulasta shot and the sexy night sweats. I mean, tell me one thing that is not hot about sleeping on a towel so you don't get sweat on your sheets. John is a lucky man right now.

On a sad note, The Office made me cry like a baby tonight, which sent me into a mini breakdown. The scene that started it all was when Pam played the DVD of why Jim loves her and why she is enough for him. From there, I just started feeling sorry for myself. I figure I am allowed to have a breakdown every now and then. I am better now and don't feel sad anymore. The 4 pretzel brownies I ate may have helped (thank you Stacie).

Below is a diagram of the pressure points on the hand and what part of the body they help. Pretty interesting

As Long As I've Got My Suit and Tie

This really has nothing to do with the subject of my blog, but I am so excited, I needed to scream it to the world. I JUST GOT JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE TIX FOR VEGAS!!!!! I was so bummed that all his shows were sold out and yesterday I saw that he added some more. Nothing in LA, but he has a show in Vegas the day after Thanksgiving, which is perfect. I signed up for his fan club just to get pre-sale  info.  They went on sale today at 10 and right at 10, I logged on and it looked like they were already sold out. I wasn't giving up though. I decided to check back a few minutes ago and there were tix available, good ones!! So I scooped 2 up and let's do this. I am not a big concert go-er anymore. I am too old and just don't enjoy it the way I used to but when I heard he was going on tour with Jay-Z, I got excited and felt like I was a 20-something again. And it's in Vegas, which is an added bonus. And it's right around the time when I got diagnosed last year so I will make it my "ha breast cancer, you can't keep me from going to see Justin Timberlake" trip. Today is really shaping up to be spectacular.

I Had A Vision Board of Love

I have always loved the idea of vision boards, but I've never been motivated enough to make one...until now. Right before I started chemo, I decided to start creating a board of goals for myself when I was done. Some are kinda fun like go to the Viceroy in Palm Springs (one of my favorite places in the universe), the Wynn in Vegas or wine tasting in Los Olivos and some are a bit more serious like write a book, exercise, eat organic, etc. I put a photo of myself on the board with my most favorite haircut that my hair stylist gave me (thank you Jordana!) I put pictures of shorter hairstyles that I liked for when my hair starts to grow in. The board is the first thing I see when I wake up so I wrote, "today is going to be a great day". That way if I woke up feeling blue, I could remind myself that it's not that bad. I also wrote words like "healthy," "positive," "travel"  and "healing" on there just to stay focused.  I also used pink ink and pink hearts and smiley faces since pink is the official breast cancer color. I put a jenky photo of the board below. It didn't come out that great, but hopefully you can see a few of my thoughts and maybe be inspired to create a vision board of your own!